So this week has started with an assignment from Jamie:
the assignment is difficult, wonderful, challenging, open-ended, vague, and joyful.
It also is an assignment I have personally been waiting for.
The assignment from Jamie was,
TO PLAY
so, I've been waiting for creativity to add in to the mix for a while now.
Since I've been at NECCA, my strength has improved, my flexibility has improved, my technique has severely improved...but I didn't feel the thrill of using my creative mind. At this moment, there hadn't been any call to use that creativity. It was mostly just doing things to make me a better circus body, but not many activities stimulated my artist mind. I live for the thrill of setting out to create a new act, decide what tricks to put in it, how i want to move, is there a character, or is it a relationship to apparatus kind of piece (character minus a severe storyline), what interesting transitions can I make, how can I get into a certain pose in a new way, how can i get out of a pose in a new way. Can i change the effect of the pose?...etc my brain goes on and on.
So the big question is, how come my brain is at a dead halt?
During members only, i felt absolutely NO instinct to create, to question, to be confused.
I want to LOVE this week, but I don't know what I need to do to get my brain to calm down.
I think art of it has to do with the fact that all my teachers are absolutely amazing, and they have perfect technique and how to break from that technique, but right now I feel slightly like everything i do is under surveillance. Even when I'm just training in my own little world, it isn't unusual to hear someone shout out "point your foot" or "straighten that back leg", which is very fine when I'm working on the technique, but when I'm just playing and creating, I need to be able to be awkward, and hesitant, precarious. Cleaning all that up comes later, and I know I'm supposed to develop better habits, so I guess it's also a resistance to that edict.
I'm determined to create something this week, no matter how short or long, confusing, clear, dynamic, it is.
I want to project all my skills I've built here, and technique I've refined here into a tangible work.
So,
expect SOMETHING from me this week. I demand it.
I won't promise it will change my life or yours, but it will hopefully fulfill my week, and leave me with some sense of satisfaction from this week's assignment.
Jamie G D (that's grace duff, not god, even though you are quite heavenly), what is your take on the situation? do you have wise words?
this blog will act as my journal for the year while I am training in the Intensive Program at the New England Center for Circus Arts (NECCA)
2 comments:
That's really interesting insight, T. Good luck with everything, and good luck tuning out the voices!
I know I already chatted with you about this. But, I LOVE that you are in this place (physically here at NECCA and psychologically at this crossroads). Think of it this way... If you were given a piano, you could learn to play lots of stuff on it by ear without ever learning your scales. Then if you signed up for lessons, you would be playing scales and drills relentlessly. But when you went back to play you would bring the knowledge of the drills with you - you would be able to play WITH the technique and be at a whole new level! A musician may improvise, but they do so with all the knowledge they have worked hard to gain, not from scratch.
If you ever watch Bronwyn, Elsie or Serenity "play" it's beautiful. Not because they "know" the trick - they could be making up something entirely new - but, because their technique is impeccable. Not to mention that improved form will make the ability to play better, easier and more efficient, not harder (at some point, anyway!).
I, frankly, am So SO SO excited that this is the predicament you find yourself in. Maybe your body WANTS to never compromise form. The hard part is learning how to play all over again. The best part is you'll be MUCH better equipped! I really see this particular battle as a potential jumping off point for you and I can't wait to see where it takes you!
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